


How To Win A Date With Lovino Vargas

by Thats_Amore



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gakuen, Alternate Universe - Human, America Attempts To Speak Italian, Awkward Flirting, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Mentioned Gerita - Freeform, asking for a date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_Amore/pseuds/Thats_Amore
Summary: Alfred needs to learn how to ask someone on a date in Italian. His crush's brother is happy to help him out, and he even agrees to give Alfred a more extensive language lesson.
Relationships: America & North Italy (Hetalia), America/South Italy (Hetalia), North Italy & South Italy (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	How To Win A Date With Lovino Vargas

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, everyone's human, and Lovino is one year older than Feliciano and Alfred.

Feliciano was drawing a preliminary sketch for a project in his art class and enjoying the sunshine and scent of flowers surrounding him in the spring air. As he sketched out the image of a young woman playing a harp, he idly considered what kind of food he could make for his boyfriend this weekend if they decided to stay in instead of going out. Perhaps gnocchi? Ludwig was very fond of potatoes.

Feliciano paused in his drawing when he heard someone calling out to him. “Hey, Feliciano, you got a sec? I was hoping you could help me with something.”

It was Alfred, an American who had transferred to World Academy last semester. They shared a sociology class together but had only spoken a couple of times. Most of what Feliciano knew about Alfred was actually told to him by his older brother, who was a teacher’s aide in the sophomore year Spanish class the American was taking as part of the academy’s foreign language requirement.

The first few weeks of their acquaintance, Lovino seemed to dislike Alfred intensely, claiming that he was too loud and “the most obnoxious person I’ve ever had the displeasure to know.” But as the months passed, the nature of his complaints changed. With a fierce blush, Lovino grumbled about the way Alfred kept smiling at him or how “unnatural” it was for a person’s eyes to sparkle as brightly as Alfred’s allegedly did. (Personally, Feliciano thought Alfred’s eyes were nice, but that Ludwig’s were much more captivating.) Lovino talked about Alfred sending him silly notes during class, but his annoyance at being distracted from grading worksheets did not ring true. He even admitted that some of the jokes Alfred had sent were “kind of funny, dumb as they were.” And when Lovino recounted the story of Alfred walking him back to the dorms and sharing his umbrella during an unexpected rainstorm, he was obviously pleased, even if he insisted that Alfred hadn’t needed to act like he was a hero rescuing a damsel in distress.

Feliciano wasn’t always the best at reading the atmosphere, but even he could tell that Lovino was crushing on Alfred. He knew Lovino would vehemently deny the truth if asked, so he didn’t bother pointing it out. That, and he knew his older brother was more than capable of pursuing whomever he wanted.

Feliciano closed his sketchpad and smiled up at Alfred. “I’m free. What do you need?”

Alfred sat down next to him at the outdoor table and rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. “I was hoping you could teach me some Italian. I want to ask somebody out on a date.”

Feliciano steepled his hands together and gazed thoughtfully at his classmate. “My older brother, I’m assuming?”

Alfred’s face quickly turned fire engine red, and he coughed as he glanced away. “Yeah. I guess I suck at that whole subtlety thing, huh?”

Feliciano shrugged sympathetically. “I don’t think Lovino minds. You could ask him out in English if you wanted to.”

“Yeah, but that’s what anyone would do. I’m sure he gets asked out like that multiple times a day. He deserves to have someone make more of an effort, do things like learn how to ask him out in his native language if it would make him happy. I want to be the person who makes Lovino happy, if he’d let me.”

Feliciano’s heart melted at Alfred’s speech. He was so sweet, so earnest in his affection! Feliciano was confident that Allfred would make Lovino feel truly special and loved. If he could pick anyone for his dear fratello, he would pick Alfred.

“I can teach you a few phrases today,” Feliciano decided.

He fist-pumped the air. “Awesome! I really owe you one.”

Feliciano giggled at Alfred’s childlike enthusiasm. “We should get started.”

Alfred was a good student when he was motivated, so it didn’t take him long to learn how to ask someone on a date in Italian. He and Feliciano both agreed that it would be too abrupt for him to just ask Lovino out without saying anything else, so Feliciano taught him a few sentences he could use to express his feelings and some Italian endearments he could use towards Lovino when the time was right.

* * *

Lovino was having an unusually shitty day. He had been dealing with a headache since second period and needed his daily siesta more than ever, but after school, he’d been delayed by Mr. Fernández Carreido, who forced Lovino to help him search the Spanish classroom for a key to one of his filing cabinets. The lost key was tiny, and the search ended up taking half an hour.

As he stormed across the courtyard, Lovino muttered under his breath about how Antonio was more airheaded than most of his students. The other people walking around gave Lovino a wide berth, which didn’t bother him at all. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with their idiocy.

Speaking of idiots, there was his little brother sitting with Alfred at one of the outdoor tables. How strange, he didn’t even know they were friends. Feliciano would have normally mentioned something like that.

As he stared at the pair, an unpleasant, heavy feeling settled in his gut. They were sitting close, almost _too_ close, and Alfred was grinning and blushing lightly at something Feliciano had said. If Lovino hadn’t already been dealing with a migraine, he might have concluded that his insecurities about everyone (including their parents and grandfather) preferring Feliciano over him were making him irrationally suspicious over what was most likely just a friendly chat. But since he was tired and crabbier than usual, Lovino stalked closer to investigate what was going on. He was spurred on in part by jealousy at the fact that Feli, not him, was the one making that annoying (adorable) American blush.

“…cucciolo mio,” Feliciano said, pausing to smirk confidently like the flirtatious bastard he was. “That means my puppy.”

Alfred laughed. “A puppy? Puppies are pretty cute. I see how that could work as a nickname to call your boyfriend.” He hesitantly repeated the phrase to Feliciano, who smiled in encouragement, and Lovino saw red. Flirting with _pet names_? His little brother had gone way, way too far.

Alfred noticed him first and, apparently impervious to the dark scowl etched onto his face, greeted him cheerfully. “Hi Lovino!”

Feliciano startled, spinning around to face Lovino. “Fratello! I didn’t see you there.”

“I need to talk with you,” he hissed, gripping onto his brother’s upper arm. “Alone.” He nodded towards Alfred, scowl softening a fraction. “Scusami, Alfred. I need to speak to my brother.”

“Of course.” Lovino pulled an unresisting Feliciano off the bench, ignoring his whining about how Lovino was hurting his arm, and marched them over to a spot several feet away from the table. He could feel Alfred’s confused, curious stare directed towards him the entire time and tried to ignore the tingles it sent down his back.

“Lovi, what’s wrong?! Why are you so angry with me?” Feliciano pouted and rubbed his arm, but his attempt to look pathetic and cute garnered no sympathy from Lovino, who promptly exploded at him.

“Why do you think, dickhead?! You were just trying to _sweet talk_ Alfred. You barely even know him! You can’t just swoop in and win him over with your stupid flirting before anyone else gets a chance to even try.”

“But I wasn’t—”

Lovino continued to gesture furiously. “And, on top of that, you have a boyfriend, Feliciano! _A boyfriend_. I’ve never liked that macho potato, but he deserves better than for you to flirt with other guys and give them sappy, romantic nicknames. The kind of nicknames you _should_ be reserving for him.” The more Lovino talked, the more disgusted he became. Dio, what was his fratellino thinking?

Feliciano’s huge amber eyes shimmered with tears as he shrank into himself. Lovino was still pissed, but guilt was beginning to creep into his conscience. “I would never do that,” Feliciano said softly, with a hint of hurt. “I would never betray Luddy. You know that.”

Lovino sighed and rubbed his throbbing forehead. “Then what the hell _were_ you doing?”

“Alfred came up to me this afternoon and asked me for a favor. He wants to court you, and he asked for me to teach him a little Italian to help him do so.”

“He… he wants to court me?” Lovino was no longer angry, but it’s not like his heart was fluttering, damn it! (It totally was. He was pleased by this news, but too cautious and embarrassed to admit that out loud.)

Feliciano nodded at him happily. “Sì, Alfred told me that he wants to make you happy. He’s absolutely smitten with you; I could tell that as soon as he started speaking to me.”

Lovino felt like an idiot and more than a bit of an asshole. He frowned down at the grass underneath their feet and crossed his arms sulkily over his chest. “I guess I owe you an apology, then. I shouldn’t have yelled and accused you of shit you’d never do. I’m sorry.”

Feliciano waved off the apology easily. “It’s okay, I understand. After all, a bit of possessiveness is only natural when you’re falling in love.”

Lovino could only respond with incoherent sputtering as Feliciano giggled and guided him back towards the table. Cristo, his little brother was going to make him die from embarrassment one of these days.

Alfred blinked and sat up straighter when he saw them returning to the table. “You guys good?”

“Very,” Feliciano answered, gently nudging his brother to make him sit down next to Alfred. Lovino, who was practically trembling with nerves, looked up at Alfred once he sat down, and Alfred responded with a shaky smile of his own. It was comforting to know that he wasn’t the only one who was nervous, but he didn’t know how anything would change between them if they both continued to be so awkward.

“Well, I should be heading back to the dorm since you two obviously have things to discuss,” Feliciano declared. “I’ll see you later, Lovino.”

“Yeah, see ya, Feli,” Lovino replied absently. He was only able to tear his gaze away from Alfred’s sparkling ocean blue eyes briefly, just long enough to see his brother quickly making his way out of the courtyard. He looked back at Alfred and instantly felt a lump form in his throat. They were finally alone, but Lovino didn’t know how to begin.

“So, um…”

Alfred released a rattling exhale. “Yeah…”

“You learned Italian for me?” Lovino finally managed. Distantly, he noted that his voice sounded much softer than usual, much more awed.

“Yeah, just a little. It’s not like I can learn the entire language in one day.” Alfred bit his lower lip, held it for several seconds, and eventually released it. Afterwards, it looked pinker, plumper, more _kissable_. Lovino willed himself to not let his stare linger too blatantly, even though the sight was incredibly distracting.

“It was nice of you to do that for me,” Lovino told him. “Unnecessary, but nice.”

“Could I try to demonstrate what I learned?”

Lovino leaned towards Alfred unconsciously. “If you want.”

“Okay.” Alfred mentally rehearsed what he wanted to say, nodded to himself, then focused intently on Lovino. “Lovino, mi piaci tantissimo. Il tuo sorriso e’il sole della mia vita. Ti penso ogni giorno. Vorresti uscire con me?”

An unwitting grin burst onto Lovino’s face. “First of all, _yes_. Second, that line about my smile was one of the cheesiest things I’ve ever heard. Was that Feli’s idea or yours?”

“Mine, mostly. You don’t smile that often, but when you do, it’s like the sun coming out of the clouds.” Alfred smiled dreamily and slid closer to him on the bench seat, close enough that their knees bumped up against each other. “You kind of take my breath away, Lovino.”

Lovino glanced away shyly to hide his face, which was positively burning at Alfred’s unexpectedly suave compliments. “Damn it, Alfred, you’re gonna make me faint if you keep saying things like that.”

“Well that would be unfortunate, ‘cause it might end our date early.” When Lovino looked back at him, the smug bastard was smirking, and Lovino knew he was in trouble. “On the other hand, if you fainted, I might have to give you mouth to mouth, and I definitely wouldn’t object to that.” Alfred wiggled his eyebrows, and Lovino groaned in exasperation and dragged a hand down his face.

“Cazzo! Why are you so—?”

“Amazing? Sexy? The man you’ve been waiting for your entire life?”

Lovino glared at him. “I was going to say ridiculous, but whatever works for that gigantic ego of yours.” Alfred laughed, and Lovino felt himself starting to smile in spite of himself, unable to be irritated in the face of all that boundless joy. Alfred was good for him that way. He pulled out his phone, unlocked it and passed it over. “Here. We should probably exchange numbers before you give me mouth to mouth.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Alfred typed in his details. “That way we can text and figure out plans for our first date.”

“Exactly.” Alfred passed the phone back to him, and Lovino rolled his eyes when he saw that Alfred had saved his contact information as _Your Hero_. He typed out a quick “Hey, it’s Lovino” to Alfred’s number and added a winking emoji at the end so the message wouldn’t seem too cold. Alfred grinned and bounced around a little when he got Lovino’s number. What a dork.

“Until I can come up with a cool nickname for you, you’re gonna be _Amore Mio_ in my phone,” Alfred decided, speaking mostly to himself as he squinted down at his phone.

“Why do you even need a ‘cool’ nickname for me, anyway?” Lovino asked. Privately, he thought being considered as Alfred’s amore was pretty cool in itself.

Alfred pocketed his phone. “I dunno, I just think it would be nice to have something more unique to call you. Feliciano taught me some, but I don’t think you’d go for being called a puppy or a cupcake or a little cookie. Those are probably too cutesy for you. You need something that’s cute _and_ badass. Like a porcupine.”

Lovino snorted. “A porcupine? Are you saying I shoot sharp quills at people?” Alfred was right that the other nicknames were a little too cutesy for his taste, but he didn’t understand the rationale behind being called a porcupine.

“Only when you need to defend yourself. And a porcupine can’t actually shoot its quills, they just detach easily when the porcupine is threatened. But it’s still really awesome, because they can totally defend themselves against some really tough predators that way.”

“Whatever you say, nerd.” Maybe Alfred rambling about porcupines was actually sort of cute, even if it was nerdy. And maybe it was nice to be considered badass, even if most of the time, Lovino didn’t feel that way about himself.

Lovino’s headache was still bothering him. He hadn’t focused on it in a while, but it was. He sighed and squinted against the light, which was too strong for him to deal with at the moment.

“Tired or something?” Alfred asked.

“Yeah, and I’ve had a headache for most of the day. Thinking that my little brother was flirting with you didn’t make it any better.”

Alfred chuckled quieter than he usually would, probably to avoid making Lovino’s headache worse. It was sweet of him. “And to think, he was teaching _me_ how to flirt with _you_. You should probably go back to the dorm though, if you’ve got a headache. I’ll walk with you.”

“You don’t have to,” Lovino pointed out, ducking his head to hide a pleased smile as he got up from the table.

“But I want to,” Alfred replied, which Lovino supposed was fair enough. He didn’t really want to be out of Alfred’s company either.

They walked back to the dormitory building side by side, brushing arms but not quite holding hands. Maybe they’d get to do that on the actual date.

Outside of his dorm room, they turned to face each other, and the awkwardness returned. Alfred stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“So, um, are you free this weekend? The new Wonder Woman movie’s coming out, and I think it would be fun to see it together.”

Lovino nodded. “That sounds like a good idea. And I’m free.” Lovino had enjoyed the first Wonder Woman movie, and he’d probably enjoy this one too. But to be honest, he didn’t really care what they did, as long as he got to spend time with Alfred.

Alfred let out a deep exhale of relief. “Cool. I’ll look up movie times. I… uh, guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow.” Lovino could have just waved or something, dug the key to his room out of his front pocket, and headed into his dorm room. But the goodbye didn’t feel complete, not for someone he would be going out with in only a few days. It was too cold, too distant.

Lovino rose up onto the balls of his feet and brushed a soft kiss over Alfred’s cheek. He only lingered for a second, but Alfred’s breath hitched, and Lovino felt flattered by the response as he repeated the gesture on the other side.

He stepped back towards his door, pulling his keys out of his pocket. “Arrivederci, Alfredo.”

“C-ciao.” Alfred’s face was pink, much pinker than it had been when he’d been blushing at that table with Feliciano, and Lovino had to use a lot of willpower to turn away and unlock his door. It wouldn’t be proper to press Alfred against a wall and kiss the breath out of his lungs before they’d even gone out on a date. He could wait a few days to let the anticipation build a little longer and leave Alfred wanting more.

As soon as Lovino closed the door behind him, Feliciano leapt out of the chair he’d been sitting in to pester his brother with questions.

“Soooo… how did it go? What happened with you and Alfred?”

Lovino blushed and put his keys down in a little bowl near the front door so he wouldn’t lose them. “I… um, might have a date this weekend.”

Feliciano let out a high-pitched, nearly inhuman squeal and wrapped his arms around Lovino in an embrace that would’ve suffocated him if he hadn’t been so used to it. “Fratello, this is so exciting! I’m so happy for you! You must tell me _everything_.”

Lovino shoved at Feliciano’s arms to make him let go. “Ugh, get off of me, you clingy little octopus.” Feli made a whiny noise but released him from his tight grip. When he was free, Lovino shook his head at the expectant look on Feliciano’s face. He knew Feli wouldn’t be satisfied until he heard every last detail. “I will tell you,” Lovino decided. “Later. Right now, I’m gonna take a nap.”

“Okay. I’ll make sure you’re awake on time for dinner.” Feliciano smiled at him, patted him lightly on the shoulder, and returned to the chair he’d been sitting in earlier.

Lovino got a couple aspirin out of a bottle sitting on the kitchenette counter and downed them with a small glass of water. He put the glass down in the sink and headed off towards his small dorm bed, pausing when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket.

_Your Hero: take care of urself, porcospino. u need rest to have fresh quills tmw._

Lovino giggled (quietly, so Feliciano couldn’t overhear and tease him about turning into a complete sap), and sent back a quick reply.

_Take care of yourself too, polpetto. I’ll see you tomorrow._

Lovino made sure his phone was on silent, set it down on the nightstand between his bed and Feliciano’s, curled up on his side, and closed his eyes. As he drifted off to sleep, he imagined Alfred using Google Translate to figure out what the world _polpetto_ meant and the baffled reaction he’d probably have to finding out that Lovino had just referred to him as a meatball.

He’d talk about it with Alfred tomorrow, and he would explain how the nickname was not nearly as strange as it sounded in English. He’d gladly explain all kinds of Italian words to his prospective future boyfriend, but for now, he’d take a nap and hopefully wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face Feliciano’s inevitable interrogation.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Translation of Alfred's "demonstration" of what Feliciano taught him: Lovino, I like you so much. Your smile is the sunshine of my life. I think of you every day. Would you like to go out with me?
> 
> 2\. All of the pet names mentioned in this story were found on websites I visited listing Italian terms of endearment, except for porcospino, which Alfred picked for his own idiosyncratic reasons. For the purposes of humor, the nicknames skew a little sappier/sillier than the more traditional options I’d typically use in a fic. Lovino and Alfred are moving pretty fast on the pet names front, but they have liked each other for a while, and Lovino was inspired to reciprocate when Alfred tried to come up with a pet name for him.
> 
> 3\. By the way, Feliciano calls Ludwig patatino, which translates into “little potato.”
> 
> 4\. Porcupines really are badass, but not completely invulnerable to predators. You can see a porcupine defending itself quite capably against a leopard in [this BBC video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEYZl6gdDIE). The video is short, and it's one of the most non-violent encounters you would see on a nature program.


End file.
